My name is Eli, and I’m a yuppie in my mid-twenties. I just graduated from engineering after five grueling years of academic and career hazing. Having started my post academic journey relatively late (my parents delayed kindgarten, I lost a year transferring from college to uni and my program was five years) I find myself slightly dazed, lost and confused by the infinite possibilities that abound from life.
Most of us are confronted and overwhelmed by the many paths the universe offers. It is never clear whether we should focus on our careers, get lost in hedonic pleasures, enjoy the companionship of what is familiar, or strive for novelty.
Journalling is a great tool to help ground our thoughts. Stewing in contemplation helps us better understand what moves us. But what I wanted to start was something larger than reflection. I wanted to start recording my own experiences and beliefs in the form of a personal narrative.
Stories are essential to the human experience. Most of our values are derived from ancient legends, allegories and reglious texts. We don’t see human history through incremental progress but through the sweeping stories of great leaders, scientists, and philosophers. Even if the differences between one day and the next may be rather small, we simplify the passing of time by transferring ownership of history through several great figures. I can’t yet answer where this tendency comes from, although I’m sure many have inspected its origin. In any case, I started this blog to develop my understanding of my story.
I can fully admit that I am, to some extent, indulging in a narcissistic trend popularized by life coaches and influencers. We like to make our voices heard. Believe our pain and suffering are unique and that what we experience is a truth of sorts, higher than all truths. I will do my best to minimize that voice in me.
Who I am to do this? I’m from a small town in BC. I was a pretty awkward, nerdy kid in high school. Extroverted but a weirdo. Smart but insecure and needy. Like many teenagers, I felt out of place. I can’t name the source, but I once heard that we spend our lives living as who we were in high school or trying to disprove it. When I heard this, I realized I was firmly in the latter camp.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to be, so I decided the default was to try and get rich. I spent high school doing things that could get me a head start. Since then I have reluctantly accepted the ambitions that high school insecurities handed to me. My motivations have changed. I want wealth for the purpose of personal flexibility and independence. But I still have an itch that can only be satisfied by personal achievement. In a sense, this is part of why I was motivated to write this blog. I was moved to articulate my beliefs and the actions they have inspired. To ground my opinions in written form and share them with others.
When I was obsessed with money, I believed in egoism. To exist was to indulge in selfish desire. This was regardless of whether or not you chose to acknowledge it. Although I’m not sure if I have completely outgrown that thought, as I grew older, I realized a part of me was filled by treating others with kindness. To be empathetic, and if pushed by ambition, to try and improve oneself holistically. This is why most of this blog will be dedicated to psychology, philosophy and finance. These are tools I have used to better understand myself, and my own place in it. I look forward to giving you, the audience, my thoughts on these themes. Until next time!